Sometimes

All you need is some tough lovin’

Something my mother is an expert at…I’ve learned to ignore her when she tells me that I live in an imaginary world by making the crazy motion around her head, and instead listen to the good parts.

She’s picked up, at least, that I’m self-destructive.  I don’t know why.

Chathurikamm

Something Gorgeous

Here it is:

Devendra, his band and Cibelle in the background

Preforming

Together

On a boat

On the Thames river

…Oh how I wish I was there.

Lovely :)

xo Chathurika

(p.s. I’m listening to Christmas songs on KOST 103.5 and have a ridiculous urge to name all of the artists -PAULMCARTNEYGEORGEMICHAELJOSHGROBAN- WOO!)

(p.s.s.  If I hear Celine Dion’s watered down “version” of  “Happy Christmas” I’m going to kill myself; give me Lennon dammit!”)

(p.s.s.s. Ok maybe not kill myself, but turn the radio off, but it’s Sinatra right now so I’m content)

Not So Gorgeous

But let’s just set up the mood:  Today I had a dream that I was driving in the dark and saw a kitten that had been run over.  Seeing it move just a little, I jumped out of my car and touched it, only to realize that it had lost almost half its body and would not make it.  So I cried about not knowing how to help it and held it until the poor thing died, at night, on some random street.

Yeah, that’s basically how I feel.  I don’t even want to go into the Freudian aspects of it.

(Although, I totally would have done that in real life)

You know that scene in the previously  reviewed (500) Days of Summer where we see what Tom expects to happen on a split screen with reality?  If I could illustrate my point in that way, I would.  But, alas, WordPress doesn’t have columns.

Things My Mother Has Told Me So Far Today (aka things I generally hear on a day-to-day basis):

1.  You’re my bad karma

2.  You are ruining your life

3.  You’re a joke

4.  You’re really stupid

5.  You’re all talk

6.  You act like a bigshot

7.  I’m tired of you

8.  We should have sent you away

9.  Don’t ask me for anything

10.  Don’t talk to me

11.  Nobody is going to take you seriously

12.  You’re bringing the whole family down with you

13.  You are the reason why I’m going to die early

Things I Needed To Hear From My Mom:

1.  Are you okay?

2.  What’s wrong?

3.  Do you need help?

4.  You can do it!

5.  Don’t underestimate yourself!

6.  Do you need a hug?

7.  I love you.

My dad chose the same method today too, actually.  And you wonder why I have so little self-confidence.  I’ve tried not to internalize these sort of things for a long time, but she’s my mom.  She’s not some mean, snobby girl from school.  To be perfectly honest, I’ve never met one of those.  No one, in my entire life, has treated me meaner than my mom has.

Lovely thought.

Chathurika

“So you go, and you stand on your own. And you leave on your own. And you go home and you cry and you want to die”

“How Soon Is Now” – The Smiths

Sooooo, I finally got around to watching (500) Days of Summer.  It was… good.

Things that I liked:

1.  LOS ANGELES-  born and raised, baby ;)  It was so nice to see good ol’ LA portrayed with so much genuine love;  they didn’t  pretend that it was New York, like all other Hollywood movies do, but really almost personified the city.  However, neither of the two main characters were Angelenos- something that was a bit disappointing, especially since Zooey Deschanel (who, by the way, was named Zooey Glass Deschanel after Zooey Glass from J.D. Salinger’s Franny and Zooey which I just finished reading for my Intro to Lit class – thanks Leo from said class - which is AWESOME, I adore Salinger) is a LA native.

2.  THE MUSIC- See, I knew I should have kept up with Wolfmother after “Woman” because AMAZING !  I love the music in this movie so much (THE SMITHS-see title…we’ll get back to this later).  I am in no way a music conisiueur, but the Indie stuff is where my heart lies.  Also, how beautiful is Carla Bruni’s song “Quelqu’un M’a Dit”?

I shall show you:

To illustrate my earlier point, I had no idea Carla Bruni was a singer.  All I knew was the was some sort of  Princess Diana incarnation/First Lady of France/completely gorgeous.  But nay, she has one of the most gorgeous voices I’ve ever heard.  I’m not going to even try to describe the kinds of emotions that the soundtrack of this movie (which I am listening to as we speak) evoke in me.  If they could be so easily put into words, there wouldn’t be a need for the song in the first place.

3.  The humor:  It was wry, off-beat, and a little dark.  The most hilarious lines were placed in the most inappropriate scenes.  It’s called incongruity kids.  It’s like the plot played the straight man.

4.  Zooey Deschanel’s clothes, and apartment, and…:   Basically everything she owned.  I want.  DID YOU KNOW THAT SHE’S MARRIED TO BEN GIBBARD?  You probably did.  It’s ridiculously appropriate.  But I’m still jealous.  I heart her though, the almost-vegan/Katy Perry twin.  AND WHAT’S THIS ABOUT KATY PERRY DATING RUSSEL BRAND??  MY RUSSEL?!  Nooooooooooooo…

5.  Acting, writing, direction, editing etc. etc. blah blah blah..

6.  Autumn: Well, would you look at that, my favorite season

Things I Didn’t Like So Much:

1.  Tom:  This was by far my biggest problem with the movie, and probably the reason I didn’t moon over it like everyone else has done.  It’s not  because of Jason Gordon-Levitt; he did a fantastic job.  He was probably Tom’s redeeming factor, actually.  No matter how much I tried, I found it impossible to sympathize with Tom.  I mean, it was sad and all…really sad *cough*but I found myself siding more with his younger sister and that one girl he went out with as a blind date.  Summer told him that she wasn’t interested in being in a relationship, told him that what they had wasn’t serious- and he agreed.  He then continued to construct his own imaginary romance and then mourned over it by breaking plates on the kitchen counter and completely blaming Summer- despite the fact that she spelled everything out for him in the beginning.  Summer may have been many not-so-nice-things,  but she was honest.  Right to the very end.  And I liked that about her.  Tom was just a little too…Devdas for me.     Excuse the Bollywood reference, but really…all women want men to pine after them but…just how realistic is that? I love The Smiths, but…TITLE?  A bit melodramatic, maybe?

     In short, he was such a girl.  Geez.

Yeah, that was basically it.  I liked that it didn’t end with the typical “illogical happily ever after” because that is my ABSOLUTE LEASTFAVORITETHING ABOUT ROMANCES.  There was no romance between Summer and Tom.  There was Summer and then Tom’s fantasy, and that is where the romance lay.   And THAT is what love at first sight is.  I don’t believe in it.  LOVE, sure.  I don’t think that he falls in love with Autumn in the end; it is just the beginning of Autumn after all.  Enchantè

Besides, I’m listening to Vagabond right now and that’s all you really need to fall in love with the movie.

Maybe I’m just pathetically unromantic.  “She’s a DUDE!”  Ha ha ha.  Not.

In other news, I’m totally into Glee!  I downloaded most of the soundtrack and heart.   It’s not a revelation, but it’s fun and light and adorable.  And energetic.  There’s also an interesting satirical tone to the show which equals love for me.   So LOVE, Glee, LOVE!  It makes me happy :)

I downloaded all of Florance and The Machine’s album.  Awesome stuff.  I’ve also just discovered Cibelle, but her stuff is almost impossible to find.  :(  I’m tired ahora, I’ll post something gorgeous later.

TA!

Chathurika

I Don’t Mean to Make This an Emo Journal but…

I’m sort of an ex-suferer of  severe depression.

It used to be really bad, it’s gotten a lot better, but I still have to fight it every day.  Sometimes I feel like my mind is working against me; like there is a voice in the back of my head that I have to battle with in order to stay on top.  Let me tell you guys, once you’ve been under, it’s not as easy as it seems to get back on top.  What’s easy is slipping under again, and forgetting the rest of the world.  It’s easy to give in, I gave in today, but I never want to give in again.   

I wish I had a better support system.  I love my mom, but there no comfort there.  I can’t remember the last time she hugged me.  She’s just not that kind of person  you know, it’s abrasive to be around her too much.  My dad always tells me not to complain, that we both hate it but that’s how she is.  My dad is great with most of this stuff, but he’s a bit self-obsessed.  It’s hard to talk about myself to him.  Most of my friends don’t live near me and don’t really have any experience dealing with the sort of thing I’m dealing with.  Also, I’m really really bad at asking for help.  After taking psychology, I think I know the reason why…

Unhappy,

Chathurika

Something You Didn’t Know About Me

I’ve become far  more adept at lying for my gain than I’m comfortable acknowledging.  Shhhhh…don’t tell anyone.

Apathetic expression,

Chathurika

P.S.   My brother recently asked me who I would choose, between Johnny Depp and Russel Brand (this is a game 10-year olds apparentlyenjoy-egads).  Needless to say, I’ve been up all night. 

P.S.S  Johnny ;)

GRACE KELLY

What can I say?  My fashion idol :)

I was in Rodeo today and saw banners of her everywhere. I couldn’t quite make out what they were for, but they inspired me nonetheless.

Speaking of Rodeo, I bought my Tiffany’s earrings today!

Return To Tiffany Heart Earrings

 When I started to work, I decided (well actually, I decided a long time ago) that I would spend my fist $109.75 on a pair of these classic earrings- for remembrance.  

I haven’t even opened the box yet, the packaging is way too pretty :)

I also went to LUSH and bought  Seanik and Jungle- I’ll write later about how those turn out.  At the moment I’m using Orgainix Fortifying Lavender  Soymilk Shampoo and it’s amaaaazing…but not vegan.  I thought ‘hey, SOYMILK SHAMPOO, from a brand called Organix, that doesn’t test on animals!’ but lo and behold, there’s milk in it.  Tis a shame, it smells amazing, works better than anything I’ve ever used before and lasts forever despite the deceptively small packaging.  As you can imagine, I was extremely disappointed.  Still am.

I haven’t been in the best of moods lately, today was horrible.  I just want to get out of this hell-hole of a situation and MOVE ON.  Le Sigh.

Sly,

Chathurika

 

 

 

 

HOLY

hell!!!

  How do you wear these things???

YSL Eel Platform Court Shoes: 520 Euros

(…I love how they are called “court shoes”- undoubtedly what I’ll be wearing as a poor lawyer)

I love Mr. Saint Laurent (RIP)

Thanks for reading this intellectually stimulating post,

Chathurika

 

 

I just read

… a really bad blog.  I know it’s a bit mean to say, but the way in which he made it bad is something I find fascinating.  The blog’s owner is very intelligent (really, I know him), and the writing reflected that- in its content.   It was the phrasing (and the tropes, oh the tropes) which made the work seem almost…contrived.  Juvenile.  Silly. 

The posts reminded me painfully of that one essay by George Orwell, in which he talks about how the pompous use of language (mostly by people who don’t know how to use it) erases meaning all together.  Although I do think that there are times  when larger synonyms are appropriate, I understand what Orwell is cautioning against.  There is a very big difference between a writer that uses Petrarch-worthy similes and a writer that writes clean prose in an honest voice.  It is almost always obvious when a writer has embellished their ideas with the illusion of sophistication, and anything made to seem unintegral looses it’s credibility.

And so, my fellow bloggers, my advice would be to use your own voice when writing.  Unless you really do make horrible similes in real life, avoid them like the plague.  Think of Hemmingway, not Hawthorne.  

Love,

Chathurika

Pout…(how tabloid/fashion magazine)

Let me tell you a secret…I hate lip gloss. 

Some people look fantastic with glossy lips, but I absolutely hate it on myself.  My lips are sort of full and pouty, but not very wide (but I have a small face), and gloss just makes the pouty-ness stick out too much.  Also, there’s a very polished look to gloss (and powder) that I just don’t like.  I like to go more fresh-faced and natural.  I really prefer a luminous, wide-eyed, matte liped look. 

So naturally, I have about a million different lip glosses -_-.

Anyway, I’ve fallen absolutely in LOVE with Revlon (VEGAN) Matte Lipstick.  I have it in Really Red, Mauve It Over, Pink About It, and Cocoa Cravings. 

There was a buy one get one free sale at CVS :)

On my NC42/43 skin (MAC), the red, pink and cocoa look fabulous.  I especially love the cocoa for an everyday look.  My lips are about a shade lighter than the skin on my face, which I hate, and I’ve been looking for a lip color that I can use to add a bit of a flush.  What I love about Matte lipstick , especially when worn over a balm, is that it looks very natural.  As I mentioned before, I hate the “made up” look.  The colors are pigmented and buildable. Even then, however, ”Mauve It Over” is too pale for  my liking.  The red is perfect for my darker, yellow-toned skin.  LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Just thought I’d share (and should I do the red in the daytime? I don’t know I’ve been sort of inspired)

(PS I also don’t like pencil eye-liner, and I’m DESI- blasphemous I know ;) )

Heart,

Chathurika