I’ve become far  more adept at lying for my gain that I’m comfortable acknowledging.  Shhhhh…don’t tell anyone.

Apathetic expression,

Chathurika

P.S.   My brother recently asked me who I would choose, between Johnny Depp and Russel Brand (this is a game 10-year olds apparentlyenjoy-egads).  Needless to say, I’ve been up all night. 

P.S.S  Johnny

 When I started to work, I decided (well actually, I decided a long time ago) that I would spend my fist $109.75 on a pair of these classic earrings- for remembrance.  

I haven’t even opened the box yet, the packaging is way too pretty :)

I also went to LUSH and bought  Seanik and Jungle- I’ll write later about how those turn out.  At the moment I’m using Orgainix Fortifying Lavender  Soymilk Shampoo and it’s amaaaazing…but not vegan.  I thought ‘hey, SOYMILK SHAMPOO, from a brand called Organix, that doesn’t test on animals!’ but lo and behold, there’s milk in it.  Tis a shame, it smells amazing, works better than anything I’ve ever used before and lasts forever despite the deceptively small packaging.  As you can imagine, I was extremely disappointed.  Still am.

I haven’t been in the best of moods lately, today was horrible.  I just want to get out of this hell-hole of a situation and MOVE ON.  Le Sigh.

Sly,

Chathurika

hell!!!

  How do you wear these things???

YSL Eel Platform Court Shoes: 520 Euros

(…I love how they are called “court shoes”- undoubtedly what I’ll be wearing as a poor lawyer)

I love Mr. Saint Laurent (RIP)

Thanks for reading this intellectually stimulating post,

Chathurika

… a really bad blog.  I know it’s a bit mean to say, but the way in which he made it bad is something I find fascinating.  The blog’s owner is very intelligent (really, I know him), and the writing reflected that- in its content.   It was the phrasing (and the tropes, oh the tropes) which made the work seem almost…contrived.  Juvenile.  Silly. 

The posts reminded me painfully of that one essay by George Orwell, in which he talks about how the pompous use of language (mostly by people who don’t know how to use it) erases meaning all together.  Although I do think that there are times  when larger synonyms are appropriate, I understand what Orwell is cautioning against.  There is a very big difference between a writer that uses Petrarch-worthy similes and a writer that writes clean prose in an honest voice.  It is almost always obvious when a writer has embellished their ideas with the illusion of sophistication, and anything made to seem unintegral looses it’s credibility.

And so, my fellow bloggers, my advice would be to use your own voice when writing.  Unless you really do make horrible similes in real life, avoid them like the plague.  Think of Hemmingway, not Hawthorne.  

Love,

Chathurika

Let me tell you a secret…I hate lip gloss. 

Some people look fantastic with glossy lips, but I absolutely hate it on myself.  My lips are sort of full and pouty, but not very wide (but I have a small face), and gloss just makes the pouty-ness stick out too much.  Also, there’s a very polished look to gloss (and powder) that I just don’t like.  I like to go more fresh-faced and natural.  I really prefer a luminous, wide-eyed, matte liped look. 

So naturally, I have about a million different lip glosses -_-.

Anyway, I’ve fallen absolutely in LOVE with Revlon (VEGAN) Matte Lipstick.  I have it in Really Red, Mauve It Over, Pink About It, and Cocoa Cravings. 

There was a buy one get one free sale at CVS

On my NC42/43 skin (MAC), the red, pink and cocoa look fabulous.  I especially love the cocoa for an everyday look.  My lips are about a shade lighter than the skin on my face, which I hate, and I’ve been looking for a lip color that I can use to add a bit of a flush.  What I love about Matte lipstick , especially when worn over a balm, is that it looks very natural.  As I mentioned before, I hate the “made up” look.  The colors are pigmented and buildable. Even then, however, ”Mauve It Over” is too pale for  my liking.  The red is perfect for my darker, yellow-toned skin.  LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Just thought I’d share (and should I do the red in the daytime? I don’t know I’ve been sort of inspired)

(PS I also don’t like pencil eye-liner, and I’m DESI- blasphemous I know )

Heart,

Chathurika

WHO MY NEW HEADER IS??!?!?!

Well, you really don’t have to guess,  it’s quite obviously Dita  Von Teese, whom I absolutely adore

She’s just the most feminine person there  is; everything she does, says,  wears or owns is beautiful.  I die. 

Seriously, I’ve been looking for a Dita poster to put up on my wall for  a while now, and  I haven’t really been able to find anything where she  has her clothes on

Any suggestions?

xoxo

pdaervo

am no longer emo- as clearly symbolized (although I suppose it wouldn’t be a symbol if it was clear, now would it) by the change of color. 

Okay, so the change may have more to do with the fact that it reminds me of the fall, my FAVORITE season and because I’m practitioner of  escapism…

And so, my imaginary readers, I …need to get back to Henry IV Part One

<3 Shakespeare<3

 (not that he needs anymore- God did that man have an ego *poets*)

Ta,

Chathurika (pdaervo)

Is a time where you go off into the (almost) real world, outside of the comfort of your childhood home.  By being away from your parents, and living with people who have been brought up in different ways than yourself, you are (hopefully) able to really look at your values and the person you have been made into and decide if that’s who you really want to be. 

Now, while I technically haven’t gone off to college yet, I have to admit that I’m still feeling the tug towards self-actualization.   Then again, I’ve always been very independent- I’ve never ever liked asking for help, even from my parents, and always have to do everything by myself.  As bigoted as this may sound, asking others for help usually slows me down.  Yes, I am a control freak (although I am very amicable when it comes to group work-for sure )  Most of the values and beliefs that I have retained are completely different from my parents, even though I’ve hung onto their labels so far.  College gave me the courage to make a break for it.

     Conformity has never been my thing.  I’m a Desi girl who’s and English major and plans to become a Public Interest/Advocacy Lawyer.  My mother tells me everyday that I’m going to be poor (she cites Sandra Bullock from”Two-Weeks Notice” as her example).  But really, I think I owe my spirit to my parents.  Although they may have encouraged me to be a doctor when I was younger, my dad has always said he’ll never force me to be anything- just as long as I make good money.  He’s not into street-talking and showing off-at all.  He actually declines to go to parties because he can’t stand the type of people who frequent them.  He’s also always joked with me about getting rid of me when I’m  18, and how it’s important that I have my own freedom and make my own mistakes.  I’m quite glad to say that he isn’t  the stereotypical Desi dad at all just a boy from the village.   My mother, on the other hand,  struggles a little with me.  We’re just very different people; it’s hard sometimes.  Ok, it’s not as melodramatic as I make it seem, but she still cares about what other people think- where as my father and I don’t.   She’s always complained about the fact that my father has never shown much interest in my school activities (other than when I ask for help) but I’ve always countered with the arguement that I really prefer to do things on my own.  She’s my mom though, of course she isn’t content with letting me have my privacy and freedom.  Tis how mothers are, I believe.  But she’s always said that she loves me, all the same.  She’s seen me at my worst and I tell her about almost everything.  There are certain things a girl and her mother just HAVE to bond over; for us, it’s been cooking, child care and now sewing.  HA ! The irony…or not.

I’ve made certain decisions in my life that have veered away from my parents, and although they may be uncomfortable with them, I do think that they are proud that I have the strength and confidence to stand up for what I believe in.

The first thing is the veganism.  My parents are very much meat/dairy eaters.  They don’t really mind though, and  thankfully we use coconut milk as a base in our cooking rather than gee or yogurt. 

 I struggle a bit with veganism too.  It’s the hardest thing to go into the forums if I want to find something because they’re just so filled with negative energy.  People preach veganism to be a form of non-violence, but the way some of these people treat others makes that seriously hypocritical.  I’m not the perfect vegan.  I’ve eaten non-vegan food by accident, I didn’t throw away all of the non-vegan products that I owned after converting.  The BIGGEST hurdle I had to get through with converting had nothing to do with food and everything to do with giving up my dreams of owning Louboutins.  Call me vain if you’d like, but I LOVE fashion; it’s silly and superficial but it’s art, and it’s a major part of my life.  MY biggest questions included “what kind of dresses would I wear without silk”?” and  how could I ever own a Chanel 2.55 or a Hermes Kelly?”  And so, I decided to concede to myself with a compromise:  the only possible way that I can buy leather, wool or silk (I can’t stomach fur) is to buy it vintage, or second hand.  This fits into MY definition of veganism which is ”a boycott of products that involve the exploitation of animals.”  To be perfectly honest, I don’t think there is anything wrong with eating meat.  Animals eat other animals, and if we are another animal then so be it.  If you kill a cow to eat it, then why not use the skin as leather (therefore making it a byproduct- different from fur) and the bones as charcoal?  The problem lies not in the actual action, but in the horrendous conditions that the cows are forced to weather on their way to being killed.  These aren’t the quaint little farms of children’s books, these are full on factories.  We look at labor conditions from the  19th century, which brought on the formations of unions, and we gasp at the THOSE stories.  These animals are treated far worse.  For further information, I suggest you look at PETA’s website.  

I WILL own Louboutins one day, but I’ll save a pair from further filling our landfills rather than directly fueling cruelty.  What really bothers me is that when I went to a vegan website to see if second-hand leather is considered vegan, most people said that they wouldn’t purchase leather because it would “hurt their credibility as a vegan.”  The only word that I can use to properly articulate my sentiments on this is ”WOW.” 

The other, slightly more sensitive and totally confusing subject that I’ve  disagreed with my parents on is religion.   I was raised to believe that I was a Buddhist.  All of Sri Lanka has been raised to believe that they are Buddhists.  It wasn’t until we talked about Buddhism in Philosophy a few weeks ago that it FINALLY clicked in my mind that what I was raised to believe was not Buddhism at all, and that I didn’t even like the idea of Buddhism.  To put it into the most simple terms imaginable, Buddhism is about the cesation of suffering.  Suffering, according to Buddhism, is caused by attatchment, and the only way to get rid of suffering is to get rid of attachement…to everything, including your friends, family and sense of self.  It makes sense: everything in the world does end, and if you are attatched to anything, you are going to suffer when it ceases- if you’re not attached to anything then you won’t suffer.  To not suffer means taking the middle path, to live in between the extremes. 

 Here’s the thing about me- I’m a sort of really really really passionate person.  I don’t WANT to end suffering, there’s beauty in suffering -just like there is beauty in content.  To reach Nirvana you need to have NO KARMA, good or bad.  The goal of my life is to help as many people as I possibly can (hence the Public Interest Lawyer).   I know there is an aspect of Buddhism that talks about helping others, but if I disagree with the main point, then I think it would be disrespectful of me to say that I’m a part of that religion. 

And then, I found my relgion.  In my English class. 

It was the freakiest thing in the world.  There my awesome Lit teacher was, telling us that THIS is the poem that started his love for poetry and that you could not possibly NOT see the awesomeness of the poem (this is the teacher who also likes Devendra Banhart- love) and there I was breaking into goosebumps because the poem was about me.  It was ME. It was completely what I’ve believed in and tried to put into words .  There it was.  Wallace Stevens (is very interesting, but this post is already long enough so lets  cut it down) was an atheist.  Am I an athiest?  I don’t know.  I hover between atheism and agnosticism…which would make me an agnostic, HAHA oh silly   Either way, I’m a naturalist, and a humanist, and most likely an existentialist as well.  I’ve  decided, and I told my mother not to lament over not being able to but “good religious Buddhist” when she tries to sell me on Craigslist.  I’ll conisder myself a failure if it comes down to that anyway.  My mom is such a girl, thank you dad for making sure I have a backbone.

Aside from that, I plan to spend a ridiculous amount of money on makeup on my birthday and have already decided that I’m going to have posters of Grace Kelly, Dita Von Teese, and Bette Davis from “The Letter” (not my favorite movie, but it inspires me A LOT) in my dorm room.  And maybe Johnny Depp.  Also, my dad gave me a budget of  $2000 US to buy my first car.  What. The. Hell.

Love,

Chathurika (pdaervo)

Notice that I  didn’t say Kanye…

It’s pretty obvious to me that the whole “incident” was contrived for ratings and  publicity (ok, I do  doubt myself a bit, but it really doesn’t make sense otherwise).  All I want to know is how much they paid Kanye and Taylor- what, she’s an actress too.  She’s doing a movie with that uglier Taylor from that comedy ”Twlight” right?  I love Kanye West as an artist, he’s always been questionable as a person, but he has an excellent sense of his art (and his money).  Taylor Swift is cute and writes songs that are magically perfect for her target audience,  referencing unrequited crushes that have happy endings and misunderstood 9th grade literature.  Obviously, girl knows how  to make a buck as well.  Just saying…

(p.s.  I’ve come to the conclusion that, if this incident was INDEED real (unlikely) this all could have been avoided had she referenced her literature properly.   Asking Romeo to save you seems like a bad idea… Hamlet just plain wouldn’t do it.  Maybe Fontibras? Or…MR. DARCY.  Perfect, that’s what he does.  It would have gone down like this

that has to be one of  my favorite fight scenes, ever)

I wonder if Beyonce had to pay THEM…probably not

<3

Chathurika (pdaervo)

…my invisible (possibly nonexsitant) friends, indeed it has.

So what’s new:

1. I am  now fully committed to venganism, and I love it   and before you start commenting (please) on how I can possibly give up cheese- OREOS ARE VEGAN!  It is, therefore, very easy   Besides, knowing about the exploitation in factory farms helps too…

2.  I’ve decided  that I seriously want to pursue public interest law. Harvard Law is my dream, but UCLA for undergrad.

3.  I took a psychology course and, suddenly, the world makes sense.

4.  I volunteer at a library now- BOOOOOORING AS HECK! I want to back to the Montessori>:l

5.  I’m on accutane- most awesome thing ever

6.  I gained 15 pounds, and then lost 5- I have to go to the gym today before my amiga’s party.

7.  I FINALLY GOT A FAUX LEATHER JACKET- WOO WOO! (aaaaaand it’s hunter green )

8.  I learned that Christian Dior’s “New  Look” is what  I hold to be the epitome of class- without a doubt my  favorite designer. Chanel is awesome too   but my  body type suits Mr. Dior better.

9. …Glen Beck is an idiot
Ta!

pdaervo